lifeless.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

MURNI - thanks darl.miz ya :)

MR ZINKY - too bad im not strong..yeah,im trying to be ok everyday..

GEGERL - thanks for pitying me.

COVERGIRL - yar.its u tuu yang kene take care.u need a LOT of rest tau gerl.make sure ehh..

SUGAA - long time no tag me ah u.hehe.love u too <3

i was so lethargic cos last thursday i was working full shift frm morning till night.friday i worked morning and had my religious class at nite.then saturday it was morning work again.saturday is a fucking busy day cos there're LOTS of customers and plus,our morning shift is extended to 6.30pm,only on saturday that is.

then i went to meet fadli and accompanied him to bedok to watch some takraw games and reached home at 11.

somehow i cant get over the matter.............

my mind is like,having its own debating system.half of it is telling me YES YES YES and the other half is NO NO NO.i just...i dunno wat to do.so i guess i just have to leave everything to God.

maybe its true wat Dila says in her blog.It would be better for me to know the matter by myself.right gerl,if anything like this happens again and i get to noe that its true,by myself,i would feel a lot more satisfied.i wont mind getting hurt that way,cos i've seen it with my own eyes.

i just hope people would know how it feels like if they're in my shoes at that time..maybe i fail to handle it properly or wat,i dunnoe.its my first real relationship anyway.

it was always quarrels between us nowadays.i couldnt help myself but at some point of our conversations,i would remind him of this matter.and he would be irritated to know that i haven't gotten over it.

sometimes i wish i could let everything go.i wish i could fly in the air..feel the breeze rushing past me..and just smile..smile..and be free..i wish i could be like myself in the olden times..where i would be with my best close frens then..namely imah,ata,ervy,firzan..being crazy..laffing and joking like nobody's business..gossiping..eating..mainly just having lots of fun and forgetting about the stress of work..the stress of relationships..and the stress of retaking your o levels..

but that is not going to happen..i couldnt be free.im gonna be stuck here.my friends,all of them are busy and somehow,ain't getting close to me anymore..ju.shes busy with school and family stuff.i miss them so much..i really do..meeting ju that day made me so happy.even if its only for a short while..we really had fun together.and yesterday when ervy and imah came to my workplace,they really light me up..i didn't laff like that for a very long time already..somehow it just reminds me of our happy moments..i noe all of them dun realise that..i think i need entertainment with whoever i can call friends..i need some friends' companion too but sadly,i had none no more..

anyway,on a happier note...

maybe,on a less-sad note..

or..on a okay note...

haiz.i give up.nothing is happy anymore.

voiced out
3:57 PM