lifeless.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

i was so clumsy at work.i couldn't really focus.i was worrying about that someone too much i guess.

and when i was alighting the bus from my religious class,i tripped at the stairs.it was very paisey ok.'nuff said.

i kept dropping cups.i tripped a many too times.i was practically day dreaming the whole day.

even my mother scolded me for that.i was eating (moodlessly) this kuih dadar my auntie made.my aunty asked me how it tasted like.i just stared in to space and she had to ask again.so my mum scolded me.she thought i was being rude.like,sorry? she didn't even ask me what im thinking about.she just don't care.hrmph. she can piss me off sometimes.

like yesterday...i wasn't really in the mood.and she criticised something about me.i guess it was in a joking manner but i took it seriously and i just jeling at her and pretended to sleep. "kau jangan nak kurang ajar dgn aku eh.kau bukannye kasi aku makan.kerja sume..bukannye pernah2 kasi aku duit..jgn harap kau leh lawan balik cakap aku..etc" i was pissed ok.trust her to say sumthing like that.i mean,she's my MUM for god's sake. so what,she meant i've not been helping her all these while? who the hell paid for the school fees huh? me. at least im not like some bitchy daughters who can't be bothered with their family's financial problems.at least im prepared to sacrifice,do whatever it takes..work.to earn money. and pay my school fees. i have never asked her for money to buy my own things.except if i really need cash to eat.clothes and everything..i bought it with my own hard-earned money ok.because i noe she can't afford to give me what i wanted.so i earned them.and she says that? im so heartbroken...even more. haiz. and furthermore,its not as if im working a stable job.im only SEVENTEEN mum, ONLY 17! please. understand me.

and topshop's my enemy. i wanted to buy this brown top.it was just a plain top anyway but i fell in LOVE with the colour. but then...there was none of my size. ARGH!! even the light brown one has finished.sighh..

its friday the 13th anyway...

i hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Helena - My Chemical Romance

voiced out
1:08 AM