lifeless.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

i was already dissapointed like early in the morning. but i guess everything's ok now. but knowing that they are. . . ok nvm. sigh.

and then i went to school with my mum to purchase uniforms. well he promised to accompany me but since he never called me yesterdaynite, and today, so i guess he doesn't want to. and he'll be off to pulau ubin later, to go fishing. so i hope he enjoys. its weird cos its so not him to not call me anymore but ya duh, we're not like that anymore. ntahlah, i just wanna tryna move on.

its becoming a habit of me browsing around ppl's blog but right now, the more blogs i see, it gives me some kind of a hatred feeling. yeaaahh all of them are happy with boyfriends and girlfriends and of course lah im jealous cos the happy moments that they had made me think of mine & fadli's. sometimes i wanna relive those moments but at times i don't want to. i dunno what's wrong with me also. im one confused girl.

i tried to be happy sometimes but deep inside its tearing me apart. i'm happy with other people but at lonelier times like this, i think of him. i don't know what i want in this life, or who i want. i seriously have no direction. like, i want this and i want that too. and i don't want that, but i have to. and what i really really wanted, i couldn't have.

i've forgotten to be happy inside and outside, everytime despite loneliness or with company.

voiced out
3:09 PM